craziness

life has been so crazy I really haven't been able to update...and I want to so bad...I have so many amazing stories of patients and lives and hope to tell...but there is just simply not enough time tonight.....but soon and very soon I will update about life and post some recent pictures

keep us and our busy schedule in your prayers
we love you all
Ron and Jen

depth in the form of a text message

I just had the most in depth conversation over text messages that I have had in a long time...And I had to share some of it because I think I find myself getting so caught in the day in and day out that I forget that I use to be a writer, a poet, an intellectual who sought out challenge, justice and truth...or maybe I still am.
It just becomes, I just become, buried in the bills and thrills of the everyday and I fail so often to think about the place I came from and where the Lord has me going...It's so easy to just be, to just exist, without thinking of why...

This life is a journey, a path, and something we can choose to take part in kicking and screaming, or just sit back and watch the sun rise and the stars come out...

I don't think anyone should ever settle...ever...You deserve someone so in love with you. If they aren't crazy about you, forget it. No one should ever have to convince themselves. Love should change you in a good way...

But don't be fooled. Love means you have to be unselfish. You can no longer just do whatever you want. And, I cannot lie, that has been hard for me. I am so use to doing whatever I want, whenever I want, never having to call in and check with anyone. For the last 3 years I have gone where I want to. I have traveled. I have seen the world. I eat when I want, I drive how I want, and I have only worried about me. If I want to run at 11:00 at night, just to see the stars, and feel cool wind on my face, I could and I would.

Yes, we fight a lot because I am so use to being on my own, getting whatever I want. I can't do that anymore. I choose to think about someone else now. I choose to think about Ron and how he feels and what he wants. My friend stated it so beautifully by saying, "Love is a commitment." We choose to be be capable of loving. And it's definitely changing me. For a long time I choose to run from it..

With Ron it was different than anything I have ever felt before. Everyone before taught me so much and made me the person I am now. But I realize the benefit of that...It is crazy because it's like everyone else planted the seeds and someone else gets to enjoy it...And I use to question and wonder how this was even fair...But I am realizing that as much as it was about me growing, I have also helped others become who they were suppose to be. It's all a process. Love, that is. And we all take part in it...Making other better or who they need to be while learning who we need to be...

With Ron I just knew. Don't get me wrong, I fought it for the first 3 weeks, and then I just gave up. And gave it to God. We had a date on the Friday night he was suppose to leave and I was going to end this new "friendship" with him. But something happened. I can't even explain it. I guess I just stopped running and being scared and realized I was capable of being loved. And I just knew...

"It's so crazy how we often run from love when it's the thing we all want the most"

But after that point, that moment in time, I never changed my mind again. Yea we fought some, we still fight some haha. But, it's OK. It's not suppose to be perfect. It's messy and that's life and that's what makes it beautiful. We all have a purpose and a plan and it's just lots of times those paths don't make sense till you get to where you road crosses another. Then all the bad and all the hurt and all the past. It just makes sense. And you know why you had to go through it. So you can finally love and let love.

But you deserve someone so amazing. We all do. Someone who loves you at your worst, and trust me, my worst is kind of rough. Even if the waiting is the hardest part...

I can't get away from the idea of faith, hope, and love. I need them to get by. But I don't think I ever understood Christ's love for me til I learned to love Ron, not that I completely know now. It's still a journey. But I choose to believe the reason I found Ron was because of the Father's love for me. I can't really explain it as much I as I could try. But, I don't know, it just made me truly believe in His faithfulness.

Maybe when you find that one all your questions and ideas, and what if's will make a little more sense. When you are standing at the front of an aisle with your Bride or Groom facing you at the other end, well that's when you'll know. It might be the most amazing moment you will ever have with the Lord, but then the process...well, it finally makes sense.

lazy lonely saturdays

so...we are finally getting into some kind of rhythm it seems like...For me, however, Saturdays are the worst...See Saturdays are my days to sleep in...I think it really should be like a world-wide event..I mean everyone knows you sleep in on Saturday....Except for the fact that Ron has to be at setup on Saturdays, his job, sometime during the 11:00 hour...Which means, starting somewhere around 8:30 his phone will go off continuously....it is slightly aggravating for me and my attempts to sleep in....But eventually, I wake up and get going...he leaves around 11 and I'm left at the house...I normally cook breakfast and make coffee but today we are out of creamer....and then I spend sometime online or doing my homework and clean...I try to work out before I have to leave for church but it's so hot right now that it's very hard...But when is boils down to it, unfortunately I spend my Saturdays alone...it's not very fun...and I know I could go help Ron with setup but I dunno...I just kinda want to be lonely on Saturdays...

today I have spent my morning looking at blogs and I have realized I wish I could have done things for my wedding differently, a lot differently...but oh well, maybe sometime Ron and I could do a photoshot of us in our wedding gear but I could actually have nice hair and makeup...haha..that would make my little heart happy...

I start work on Monday....I am slightly nervous and just hoping my license information comes in! I am still waiting on it!
Please be praying for a miracle...

Seems like Saturdays are pretty lonely...I know in time the Lord will send me great Godly women to hang out with and I will be so busy I won't know what to do...but until then I guess I will just work on being lazy, finding coupons, and knowing one day the Lord will both have us in an amazing place, serving him, where we can do it together...

trusting in things unseen
jen

Wow...it's been quite a while!

Wow....It's crazy to think about all we have been through since the last time I posted...I know, I know, I've been a major slacker....But in my defense, we have had a lot going on...Here's the basic rundown...

-After a year of hard work, Ron graduated 24/7 with his Associates in Practical Ministry and I finished my first phase of Grad school....I also took boards for nursing and passed so I am officially an RN!!!!





-In one weekend we packed, loaded, and drove a 26 foot penske truck to our new home in Florida, completely unloaded it, cleaned, unpacked, and decorated our house...All from Thursday night till Sunday night.....Needless to say we only sleep about 16 hours all weekend...Poor Ron, the first night he only slept for like 30 mins....It was crazy, but so much fun, and we love our new 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house...A movie of our house will definitely be posted soon...



-After that, we came back to Birmingham with just long enough for Ron to work a couple days and then picked up Amanda Dail and headed to the beach for the wedding...Although I ended up having to take a test for Grad school the night of the rehearsal dinner and ended up being an hour late to my own rehearsal, I figured, Better late than never....Ya know me, always got to make an entrance....Ron's Dad and Mom decorated our fishing lodge and cooked out and the food was amazing!







-Friday- THE WEDDING- I honestly don't remember much of Friday..it was kinda all a blur of chaos and craziness but I know that I was so thankful for my mom and Ron and all the help we had pulling the wedding day off...From Kristen doing my hair, to Suzie helping decorate, from CJ, the go-to rescue man, to all my wonderful Bridesmaids, you all made my wedding beautiful...Not to mention my fabulous amazing sister Amanda taking pictures and Kris and Lisa Singing....Although the wedding day is all slightly blurry, I can honestly say I loved every minute of it! If you want to see some pictures from the big day check out Katie and Cullen's facebook....Katie took some awesome pictures...














-From that point we stayed 2 days in Gulf Shores, had a fancy dinner on the ocean, and got ready to come home...We left at 11:00 AM on Sunday Morning, got back to our home in Bradenton at 9pm and then I had to do all my homework from the previous week and for the next week, did laundry, and left at 4 am for the Tampa Airport honeymoon bound
-Our first flight was only a 35 min flight so we found a very uncomfortable floor and ended up sleeping for 3 hours in the Miami Airport, then got on a plane headed to Cancun



-The honeymoon was incredible...We had an all inclusive deal so we ended up only spending 12 bucks the entire trip! In fact, we toured another resort and got paid 500 pesos, which helped up buy the sunscreen we forgot, a cowboy hat for me, and some sweet sunglasses for Ron....We managed to only get sunburned on the last day which was even better...Plus we ate lots of amazing food and really just relaxed after the last 3 crazy months!













Now that we are back home we are loving just getting into a routine....I am still looking for a job, with out any luck, and the Lord is really teaching me about resting in him and patiently waiting on his perfect timing...In the meantime, I am working on being a really good wife! We eat at home all but one night a week..and I've had fun with some interesting meals like baked tilapia with rice, special sauce and veggies, my mom's homemade tuna noodle casserole, and fresh homemade guacamole....

One special thing we did since we didn't spend any money on our honeymoon was to buy a really nice grill...And oh yes, we fit it into my HONDA Accord....Which was truly a sight to see...we had both seats leaned all the way back, I was crammed in the back with like 6inches of space, and the grill was hanging out the window and sunroof...memories for sure....But we've really enjoyed cooking on the grill and having friends over...Dunno what it is about Florida, but they don't really cook out very much...so it's definitely helped us bring a little bit of Bama with us by having a grill~





So now life begins....I really miss home...I really miss my mom and grandma and all my wonderful friends...But I know God has a plan....I think it would be easier with a job...but ya know, God has his own timing for sure....

Hey at least we are about 5 mins to views like this, and 15 mins to the beach....




We miss you all and please keep praying both Ron and I find the perfect job with financial freedom included....Until next time...


'trusting in things unseen

Jen

Standing on the edge of a cliff....

I am officially done with my first year of Grad school and almost a nurse....
It's crazy to think about the last year. This time last year I had just started Grad school, moved into an apartment by myself, and just started getting involved in Highlands. I was free, an open spirt, and visionary, and someone who had been broken and bandaged up, bandaids, stiches, and all... I had one desire, to seek God's face and fall madly in love with him...to let him romance me...

And slowly this world spins madly on....As the Lord healed my heart, he showed me grace and mercy, and taught me how to live fully dependent on him...something I still don't do very well....

And then my world turned upside down
I met Ron and everything changed.....

It didn't mean I was no longer a free spirit, a visionary, or that my whole being had to change....In fact, if anything, my dreams got bigger and my free spirit joined with his, and now life is different....But so much better...

As I stand on the edge of this gigantic mountain of change and what if's and what might be's...I realize, once again, I am in a place where everything is changing. In the next two months not only do I have to pass boards and become a nurse, but I am also planning a wedding, searching for a job, looking for a place to live, and trying to find the Lord in it all...

craziness is the only way to describe it

yet, in it all, things with the Lord remain the same....At the end of the day all he desires is for me to trust Him, rest in Him completely...He's gotten me this far, how could I even doubt His plans for me now...He still wants to romance me and find that secret place where my free spirit flies and I find myself wrapped in His arms.....

and it's beautiful and passionate and I get to share it all with the man God specifically created for me....The one I fall for again everyday.....

THE Engagement Story!

ok ok ok....
I know yall all have been waiting for the story....so here it is...

Basically, Ron and I have been talking about getting married for a while and we even had a date set...but, he hadn't had the chance to talk to my parent because he's been in Florida doing 24/7 stuff and so ya....He came into town for Eco Challenge (YEA YEA, go Florida, dominating :) ) and then he had spring break....

All week he planned on working and he had been doing 24/7 stuff the weekend before, so we had not really gotten to hang out that much. Monday night we were suppose to have a big steak dinner with my parents and he was going to talk to them, ya know, like "the talk"....Well, he was late...and I was getting just a little aggravated lol....I was thinking...This is kind of a big deal, talking to my parents, so why is he late?....and my mom just kept saying....Jenny, you don't know what he's doing, just be cool....so I was like...ok whatever, not knowing the surprises he was really getting....Ended up surprising me and getting us an adorable puppy....Which we chose to name Bear, in memory of the greatest coach ever...ha!

So anyways, Tuesday night I thought, we'll hey, we'll finally get to hang out....But nope, he comes over after work and tells me he's having guys night....I was thinking, "Guys night, really, are you serious?" And ya know, normally I'm cool about guys night because I love my girls as well, but when he was only in town for a couple days, I was getting kinda upset....To make matters worse, I had just bought him this really sweet new shirt and he had decided to wear it... Needless to say, I was not being very nice....ha...and in marriage counseling we learned all about being assertive and saying how you feel, lol, so I was like, "RON I feel like you don't even care and blah blah blah," lol...And just totally being so mean...and the whole time he was just being so sweet and all like, "Aww babe, I'm sorry, I really do love you though..." and just not even being mean back, although I was being horrible.....

So I decided to text Ron's best friend's fiance Lauren, and was like, "Well do you just want to go to dinner since they are having a guys night?" and she like was, "Ya sure, totally....that will be perfect"....I had just got done running and taken a shower so I was ready to get in my sweatpants, no make up, glasses, and go to like Moe's or something....But then she texts me and was all like, "Well hey, let's go to Firebirds" And I'm thinking, "Firebirds, are you serious? I just got out of the shower, I don't wanna to have to fix my hair or put on make up lol. It's such a nice restaurant, you gottta be kidding"...and she is like, "No I've never been there, come on let's go!" And I'm doing everything to get out of it...being like, "It's so expensive, I don't want to fix up ha" So finally she's like, I'll even pay for you"...and all this stuff...So she talks me into it and by this time, I'm like so totally aggravated and I'm like...fine, I'll put on make up but I am not going to do my hair or anything as my act of rebellion....

So anyways, we get there and I'm having fun talking to her and just catching up and she's taking forever to order....and the waiter comes and she's like, "Ya we need more time..." And by this time I'm just like ARGH!! Can this day get any worse ha, even though I love Lauren and we were having a blast, but just totally at my aggravation level....

About that time I kinda look over and think I see this guy and a couple that look like my parents...and then I do a double take, and there Ron is, in front of the whole restaurant, on a knee with this amazing ring, and my parent's behind him.....And he does the whole, "Jenny Michelle Kidd, there's nothing more I want to do than spend the rest of my life with you, will you marry me?" And by this time my heart is beating 1000 times a minute and I tear up and I'm all like "YES YES YES!" And then Trey and my parent's come out and they had it all planned out for a while now and my mom knew the whole time, like the night before, when he was buying the ring.....

I was way surprised and just feel so blessed that I get to spend the rest of my life with such an amazing man of God, and someone who not only encourages me, but challenges me in the Lord, and loves me so much and I can't wait!

We're getting married June 26th on the beach in Orange Beach and having our reception at a reception in Gulf Shores!!! So so excited!

Our wedding Party:
Matron of Honor, Autumn Miller
Christy Schweigert
J'Amy Wright
Amanda Dail
Lisa Crunk
Amanda Kidd

Eric Williamson, Best Man
Trey Thomason
Cullen Byington
Joshua Kidd
Kris Crunk
Mike Kidd

much love to you all
jen
soon to be Mrs. Nickless :)

Some of my side of the Story

This past year has been so crazy for me. I have truly had to rely on God for all my needs. I have always worked for the things I have wanted or needed. Then in the fall of '07 God called me to a program called 24/7. So for the first time in my life I took the vision God put in front of me and put everything I had into it. I sold basically everything I owned minus some clothes and went to live with a friend until I started school. I would have to say this was probably one of the scariest things I have ever done in my entire life. Now looking back I see it was the best thing I have done in my entire life. I have ad experiences I would have never had and learned things I would have probably never learned. Little did I know that while going though the year I would meet the girl of my dreams.
Thinking back to when I first met her and then all the time I saw her after that. It was so strange because I saw her but was so focused on God I didn't see her. In May I went to China for our end of the year missions trip and it was amazing. I saw some of the most beautiful sites I have ever seen. We (24/7) were able to minister to people that had never even seen Americans. I felt like I traveled everywhere while I was there. On the last night I was in China I was journaling like I had every night and felt the Lord tell me I was going to meet my wife. I remember thinking but God I don't even know of anyone I like. So I wrote the thought down and came back home.
When I returned back home I just started doing what I had planned on doing for the summer work and make money for my second year in the program. Well I meet this girl and so I was like ok so is this the person you were talking about God she is pretty and nice. After taking her out a few times it was very obvious she was not the one. So her and I just ended up not talking anymore. About the middle of the summer i noticed there was this girl who seemed to be around all the time but I never really talked to her. A couple of weeks go by and i remember talking to her and found out we were friends on face book and i didn't even know. So that night God himself our destiny into action. We ended up talking on facebook and then on the phone. The next week I went to BigStuf which is a youth camp to workand the entire week we talked every night for hours upon hours and I remember people asking me about her and I was like I don't like her she is just a friend. From that day on I have never wanted to go a day without talking to her. After a little over a month of talking I came to Florida to help the new 24/7 program as a second year student.
Now I am in Florida loving @Bayside Community Church. One thing is the love of my life is still in Birmingham. We still talk everyday and skype as much as possible. She is by far my best friend and I could not imagine life without her. She challenges me and encourages me everyday. In a lot of ways she has helped me grow to a HNL (Ho nother level). While being apart has truly been very hard but a blessing at the same time. We are now working on planning out the next couple of months and relying on God to see where he wants to go from. We knowwe are suppose to be together but the question now is when to we go to the next level. I believe we are both ready but waiting on God to give us both peace about when that time is. So this is my side of the story which I ended up writing a lot more than I thought I would. Till I write again!!!

Learning to live in content....

This week has been incredibly hard......It's funny that even when God gives us amazing, good gifts, He still wants us to learn to dependend on him for everything and to be satisfied in every situation.....

I'm in my last semester before I sit for boards, and so everything is crazy....Not to mention that UAB is not the most organized place in the world and my graduate program is brand new so my class gets to be the ginny pigs.....I am currently in a Public Health Nursing class and it's an online class with clinicals at different places throughout the community.  The first week I spent time with a hospice nurse in Bessemer, this week I was privileged to ride with a VA Home health nurse and visit 2 different nursing homes, and in the coming week I will participate in a Good Health Screen and also get to perform a puppet show in an Elementary school through a program at Children's Hospital called "Kids on the Block"....not to mention that every Friday I spend time during another clinical at a Mental Health Community Day Program.  The Lord is truly challenging me, working in this facility, to be a listener.  (As you all know, I am much more of a talker than a listener!) So many people have been through crazy traumatizing experiences and I am completely blessed to have an awesome family who loves me.  Although there has been much pain and hurt in my life, the Lord is faithful and has become my father, my love, my Bride, and all that I live for.   

 In the midst of crazy business with clinicals, I have a great deal of work in my online course and my Psychiatric nursing course.  Every Monday and Wednesday I have a test over multiple chapters.  Yesterday, besides working out and getting a quick dinner with my grandma, I stayed in my PJ's all day and night and studied.  Today I am also studying all day....I'm not going to lie, I get pretty sick of reading and studying and taking quizzes and trying to prepare for tests that will cover so much information.....Not to mention that I live by myself and spend so much time alone.....And there are various situations at work with scheduling and those over me that I am struggling with and praying about.

I know that God has Ron and I separated right now due to the huge amounts of work and learning both of us must get done, but it is such a challenge to not being able to be with him and not be able to minster together.   Skype makes things a little easier, but I find myself so alone sometimes.  I realize that if I let Satan use this against me I would fall into a great depression and every day I truly have to fight this battle against this black cloud and also find complete contentment in my situation, even though, most often, I truly wish thing were different..... 

"No one wants to be alone"... How true are those song lyrics...and it the midst of anguish, desperately missing those I love, and stress on the outside, I realize that Christ has called me to be a Conquerer, and through him I am complete.   My prayer has been that His desires for my life will truly become all that I want....it's so hard to not question, "What's going to happen in May? When are we going to get married? Where am I going to work?" And at the end of the day, the Lord calls to me saying, "Jenny, trust me, I am here for you....When you are alone, I am here...." And there is just a sense of peace I find in knowing that I am not alone, but the Lord walks with me, studies with, and finds joy and delights in me......

When David writes in Psalms 51:12, "Restore to me the joy of your salvation 

       and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me....."

Notice he doesn't say, restore his joy, but rather YOUR joy....the Lord's joy.....

This has to be my prayer, what I lean on.....

Here's something you could join with us to pray about......

1. Direction for where to go in May.....Whether is be in Florida, Birmingham, a third year for Ron, or to possible get married......

2. Favor at work with those above me

3. Questions to finally be answered at a big meeting with the Nursing Director at UAB tomorrow (Monday morning)

4. That I will pass my board the first time

5. Contentment as we're apart......

trusting in things unseen and learning to be satisfied daily....

jen

my side of the story....(*jen*)

When I think about the journey that brought us to where we are at, the beginning of a new year with great hope and promise for the future, I am in awe of God's faithfulness....God truly does what he says he is going to do and always stands true on His promises....

This time last year I was applying for PA school, working at Brookwood in L&D, and not really looking for a husband or someone to share the rest of my life with....I had a rough journey in college and with previous relationships (I think Ron and I both have similar stories and experiences) and could have chosen a completely different path for my life, but God loved me enough to allow me to go through certain things that happened to hurt a little bit, but also allowed me to grow......

Last spring I truly had to learn to fall desperatly and madly in love with the Lord because He was all I had to cling to ....In May I moved out on my own, started a seriously intense graduate program, all my friends changed, and truly found myself alone in world, only clinging to God....as I read Capitavating I realized how much the Lord wants to romance us and desires us to fall in love with him...

In fact, in Hosea 2:6, the Lord tells us, "Therefore I will block her path with thorn-bushes, I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way...." and further on in verse 14 the Lord proclaims, " Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her"
This passage of scripture became my hope and my light....Although I really had begun to think there were truly no more Godly men left in the world, especially in Birmingham, I realized that God would supply all my needs, that He desired to be my lover and He called me beautiful....

I found hope in Zephaniah 3:17, "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighy to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing"...
The thought of God singing over me every morning, the idea that He would save me, the idea that He takes delight in ME, wow, can you just imagine every morning, you wake up out of bed, you lay there thinking, "Gosh, I really don't want to get up!", you pull the covers over your head or stretch...at that exact moment, the Lord is watching you, smiling, and singing over you, claiming that you are His daughter, and you belong to him....wow...
.....and this became all I needed and wanted.....
AND then....

An amazing man of God came into my life....God sure does try to switch things up bit.......Although I must admit, I never imagined myself with Ron, and when I first met him I was satisfied where God had me...I almost didn't even wanna get to know Ron....but slowly but surely the Lord allowed me to see Ron as He sees him, as a Man after His own heart, and diligent worker, passionate and incredibly in love with Jesus.....it's really funny because anyone who knows both of us always say that they would have never put us together but somehow it just makes sense....

It's definitely been a challenge....when Ron left for Florida the first time we had only been talking for a little while and we didn't see each other for 2 months and 24 days...ha..I definitely was counting....but over the last couple of months it has been so incredible to see God use Ron with 24/7, at Bayside, going to Mexico, and truly learning to be the leader God has created him to be.....And also to see the Lord allow me to get involved with Switch, to find joy everyday as I learn to be a nurse, and one day a nurse practioner, and to help take care of my amazing grandmother who is my best friennd.....

The holidays were a great way to spend time together and get to know each others families, although it was funny trying to schedule it all in....and the next blog will be about all that craziness....

I'm so excited about what God is doing in our lives and although we have no clue what is going to happen in May, there's an awesome hope that God has given us and peace to sustain as we are apart....I'm in the final semester of the RN part of my program and it's still just as crazy, intense, and unorganized as ever...but I'm excited about the new DreamCenter highlands is opening up, leading a small group for high school girls....and the fast that we are about to start.....

God is good....and like always,
trusting in things unseen
Jen

New beginning and written words

so.....

after much procrastination.....

we finally got a blog....kinda crazy, but this way everyone can keep up with all that God is doing in both of our lives and this way we also have somewhat of a "scrapbook" and history of our journey....

We hope we encourage you as you read and see how amazing the love of the Lord is and how much he truly wants to bless us and love us....